Our Story - About Adoption - Pictures - Links

"Its funny how things just happen."

Its funny how things just happen. How things just seem to fall into place. How out of the clear blue sky your life changes. It happened to us and here is our story.

The day was December 30 1998, Denise, my wife, and I were invited to a pre New Years Eve party at our friends, Chris and Dale's house. While we were at the party Denise had recognize a girl that she had gone to high school with. The girls got to talking and the subject of babies and adoption came up. Laura was telling how she and her husband were getting ready to leave for Russia to bring home their son in February 1999. We never thought much more of it, we were going through infertility treatments ourselves but had never thought of an international adoption. I don't even think we knew that you could adopt from Russia.

In July of 1999, our same friends, Chris and Dale, were having a deck party to christen their new deck. While we were at the party Laura came over with their little boy Griffin who had come back from Russia in February. He was such a cute little guy! Laura was telling of their adventure and the trip to get Griffin in Russia and we were asking many questions. She said she had some information at home and a book from the agency they were working with that gave different families adoption stories. So Laura ran home to get it and gave it to us to read. She told us to take the information, look it over and, if we had any questions to call her. On the way home from the party, Denise started to read some of the stories about the other couples and started to cry. She looked at me and said "Tony, this is what were suppose to do". I simply said "yes". She said "Don't you want to talk about it?" I said "no, if you want to do it, then lets just do it, after all we have tried the infertility treatments for 8 years now."

That evening and many evenings after that we spent hours searching the Internet for information regarding International Adoptions. After about a week we finally called the agency that Laura had gone through to adopt Griffin. They were holding a Seminar the following weekend in Cleveland Ohio, so we reserved two seats and waited anxiously for the next weekend to arrive. The week went by so slow and I caught Denise looking at the booklet with the different children that had been adopted in it so many times. While we were waiting to go to Cleveland, Denise had found another Agency on the internet. She had remembered a girl that she works with saying this agencies name and even the name of the coordinator that helped another couple she knew adopt their two little boys. This agencies name was "International Family Services and the coordinator for the Michigan chapter just happened to be in Northville, Michigan, the next city over from ours. Denise called and spoke with Jane Gardner (the Coordinator of Russian Adoptions in Michigan) and told her about the seminar in Ohio we were waiting to go to. She said she would get together information about their agency and mail it to us but since we had to go right by her house that weekend, we had her place it in the mailbox in front of her house. We went that same day to get it. While talking to her on the telephone that day, Denise had a feeling that this was going to be the Agency we were going with. However, we still wanted to go to the Seminar in Cleveland just to check things out.

The day finally arrived. We were on our way to Ohio. There were probably 20-25 other couples there. They talked about their agency, the regions they do adoptions in, the paperwork that would be involved and finally the cost. Our hearts just sank when they told us how much it would cost. We didn't have that kind of money just lying around and we had already re-financed the house last year. Denise looked depressed but I reassured her that we would "find a way" to do this. After about 1 ½ hours we said good bye and left. We stopped at an Applebee's restaurant to eat some lunch and discuss what we had just heard. We agreed that we were not thrilled with this agency. They made it sound so "business like". It didn't have any personal feel to it. So, on Monday Denise called Jane Gardner and asked if we could meet with her. She set up an appointment for us to meet on Wednesday evening.

On Wednesday, we went to Jane's house in Northville. She discussed what part she played in the adoption and showed us pictures of other families that had just recently gotten back with their children. She also introduced us to her three children. 2 boys and 1 girl. All three had been adopted. The boys from the USA and the girl, Sasha, from Russia. You would never know it if she had not told us. When we left Jane's house we looked at each other and just said let's go with her. We both agreed that she seemed to genuinely care about the children and were not in it for the money. We were getting ready to leave town for a couple of days. We said we would talk about it more and then call her when we returned.

By now it was September 1999 we were going on our annual anniversary vacation. It was September 7th, eight years after we had gotten married and we had finally decided to start the process to adopt our baby.

On September 15, 1999, we sent our first piece of paperwork to INS. Over the next 2 months, it was appointments, paperwork, and more paperwork. Fingerprints, Home studies waiting, waiting, and more waiting. That was the most frustrating part the waiting.

The day before Thanksgiving, 1999 we were getting ready to go to Denise's sisters house in Indiana. Jane Gardner called and said she had a Video Tape with 15 children on it. I went and picked it up. We had been eagerly waiting for the tape. Since it was already 8:30 PM and we were leaving at 9:00 PM, we didn't have two hours to watch the tape before we left. We didn't want to take the tape with us either. (We wanted to be the first ones to see it without family comments or input). Therefore, we waited for four long days to get back home to be able to watch the Video. On Sunday after getting home we finally sat down and put the Video in the VCR. We agreed that we would look at all the children and then if their were any that we wanted to see again, we would go back and replay the tape. Out of 15 children on the tape, we had narrowed it down to 4. The first little guy on the tape caught both of our eyes. His name was Sergei Alexandrovich Bakeva. We had been told that when you found the one, you "just know". Well we found the one. We watched the beginning of that tape several times. There was something about him, the way he smiled, tilted his head, rocked back and fourth on his knees and used his fingers to drum on the chair that he pulled himself up on. He was so inquisitive and looked like a very bright child. We went to bed that night and talked about Sergei for hours. The next morning Denise had called me at work and said "I've made up my mind." "All I keep thinking about and looking at Sergei's picture". "There's just something about him." I agreed. I was doing the same thing. So I made the call to Jane and said "we want Sergei Bakeva if he is available". Jane was so happy. She said her friend and colleague, Trish, had actually been at the orphanage in Saratov and had seen Sergei in person. She said he was a beautiful, well be haven, little boy who desperately needed a home. He has blonde-copper color hair, big brown eyes but is so small. He was 18 months old, weighed 15 lbs. and could walk if you held on to his hand. He stays in his crib most of the time and has never been outside. The orphanage is a clean place but there are 60 children and only 10 workers. They don't get a lot of one on one attention but they are clothed, fed and have a roof over their head. That is about it. From the time we told Jane we wanted Sergei, he was our son. We copied the picture of him and sent them to relatives. We remodeled his bedroom, bought a crib and even had a picture of him laying in it. Everynight before we went to bed we would say "goodnight" to our son.

It's now the first part of December 1999 and everyone was getting all up tight about Y2K (the millennium scare). We received our last piece of paperwork needed for our Dossier. Ironically, it was the first piece of paperwork we had sent out. The agency asked us if we would be ready to go over to Russia over Christmas if we got a Court date and with out hesitation we said yes. Unfortunately, we didn't get to go before Christmas. The embassy in Moscow closes down over the holidays. So we waited and waited for the phone call we desperately wanted. January 2000 rolled around and they thought we would be on our way by the end of the month. When no telephone call came at the end of January we started to get worried and wondered if something went wrong. January went by, then it was the middle of February. At this point, we thought we would never be able to hold Sergei in our arms. We couldn't stop thinking that something was going to happen to make it so we wouldn't get him and I don't think Denise or I could have started all over again. Then, when we least expected it, on Thursday, February 25, 2000 at 10:10 PM we finally got the telephone call we had been waiting for. Jane had called and said were leaving in 6 days. She told us to pack your bags and get everything ready. The departure date for Russia was March 1, 2000 and on March 2nd we would finally be able to see our son.

The flight to Russia was on Northwest. We would be landing in Amsterdam, have a couple of hours lay over then take KLM from Amsterdam to Moscow, Russia. We were so happy about finally being able to go that the long flight felt like only a couple of hours. A co-worker of Tony's at the airport was able to get us into first class. When the Flight attendant found out why we were traveling to Moscow, she gave us a bottle of Champaign and told us to celebrate! The plane was about to land in Moscow. My heart started beating hard and fast. I couldn't believe we were finally here, but we were still so far from being done and home again.

Our Driver, Janna, met us at the airport in Moscow. He was a very pleasant young man, but he spoke very little English. We had no problem communicating with him. When we walked out of that airport into the cold, snowy, Russia weather, we didn't care. All we knew was that tomorrow we were finally going to see and meet our son, Sergei. We drove for about 15 to 20 minutes and boy was I glad someone else was driving. It was crazy!!! There are no lanes for cars you just drive. Wherever your car could fit, you would go there. I don't think the cabbies in New York drive as crazy as the people in Moscow. Janna finally got us to our hotel. We stayed at the Marriott Grand Hotel in downtown Moscow. It was very elegant and to our surprise everyone there spoke and understood English. We got to the hotel around 3:00 in the afternoon, we had left Detroit 530 in the evening the day before. Janna made sure all of our luggage got to our room then explained that a woman named Natasha would come to the Hotel around 5:30. We would be called down to the front desk to greet her and bring her back to our room. We didn't know who Natasha was, all we knew was she was the one we gave all of the money to. Before we left the states, we were told to "trust the people you meet. They are there to help you get your son. This is their job, they do this everyday".

At 5:30 PM the telephone rang, Tony went down to the lobby and a few minutes later Tony and I were talking to Natasha. She gave us our plane tickets for the flight to Saratov. We would leave the following morning at 7:30. It would take about 1 ½ hours to fly to Saratov. Our Translator, Nick, and Driver, Sasha would meet us at the airport. We paid Natasha and she left. We were now in a Country where neither of us spoke the language and had to keep occupied until it was time to go to bed. That night we ate at the restaurant at the Hotel. It wasn't too bad. Denise didn't know what kind of meat she was eating!! After finishing our dinner we walked around the Hotel then went back to our room. The TV in Russia did us no good as every channel was in Russian. So we just went to bed at 8:00 PM.

The next morning, Janna, our driver met us at the Hotel at 7:00 am. He drove us to the domestic airport, not the one in Moscow, and when we got there, we couldn't believe our eyes. It was just as you see in the movies. The floor was dirt and broken concrete. All the women had babushka's on their heads and winter coats. It was like being outside except there was walls and a ceiling. The only things to sit on were wooden benches. There was plastic covering the windows and the waiting area's for the planes was not heated and had no where to sit.

When we go to check in at the gate, the woman tells Janna that we must pay for our oversized bags. Of course, we had no rubles and Janna did not have enough with him to cover it so Janna and I go to find an exchange booth and Denise is left with all the bags. After about 15 minutes, we finally show up. Denise was very nervous. She said everyone kept walking by and looking at her. They could tell she was an American. We paid for our bag and Janna said goodbye. We are now left by ourselves in a country that we have no idea how to read the signs or talk to anyone. We walked down a long, cold corridor and stood where there happened to be 10 other people. We waited until they called for "Cabatob" which means "Saratov". We then boarded an old shuttle bus and they took us to the plane. On the side of the plane, it said "Saratov Air". We stood in the freezing drizzle for about 20 minutes then they started boarding the plane. You had to walk up about 20 steps into the tail of the plane. When you got inside, all the seats were folded down. They were dirty and dusty but at least they had seat belts.

The plane took off and the Flight Attendant came though the cabin with a cart that had fresh fish and bagels on it. If you wanted anything, you had to pay for it. Then about ½ into the flight they came through with a box lunch. It consisted of some kind of meat, a hard roll, a cookie, and a tea bag. I ate mine but Denise would touch hers.

When we landed in Saratov we exited the plane and headed for a small gate. At the gate were about 50 people. They had to stand outside in the cold. When we walked through the gate, we heard our name being called. There was a tall skinny young man and a shorter balding man. We came to know these two gentlemen very well. The young man was our interrupter, Nick and the other gentleman was our Driver, Sasha. We went to a small building and claimed our bags then it was off to the car. Sasha was going to take us to our Host Families Apartment. Our Hostess was Lena. She spoke good English and Sasha the driver was her boyfriend. He spoke only a few words of English. They lived in an Apartment on the 6th floor of this old Apartment house. There are no elevators. The door leading into the building was falling off the hinges and looking down at the ground you could see used needles and syringes. The hallway was dark, almost all of the light bulbs are burnt out and it smelled like Cat Urine. There is cat food and raw fish out in dishes in the hallway feeding about 5 or 6 stray cats. Lena's apartment is small but very clean and nice. She showed us to a bedroom that had a baby crib set up in it, a double bed and a closet to hang our clothes in. She told us to make ourselves at home. For the next 7 days she cooked us 3 meals a day and made sure we were comfortable and had everything we needed.

After unpacking and relaxing a little while, Nick our interrupter asked us if we were ready to go to the orphanage and see our "son" for the first time. Of course we were more than ready, a little nervous and excited beyond belief. It took us about 15 minutes to get to the orphanage. You could see it from down the road. It was a big pale yellow building with huge wooden doors and a wrought iron fence all the way around. Sasha parked the car and we got out. Walking through the gate and up to the doorway felt like an eternity. We opened the door and walked into a hallway. No one was around. All you could see was doors lining the hall. Finally a woman walked past and Nick said something to her in Russian. The next thing you know, another woman was coming with a big skeleton key on a big ring and opened one of the many doors. She motioned for us to go inside. Nick said, this is the room where we will be meeting Sergei, and spend all most of our time in. They will bring in Sergei to us when he is done eating. Finally about 15 minutes later you could hear a baby crying and it was getting closer. Then the door opened and in walked a nurse and she was holding Sergei. He looked just like his video and picture except instead of smiling he was crying. Nick explained to us that Sergei doesn't like change and just needed to get use to us. Finally Denise went over, took him from the nurse, and tried to calm him down. She walked around the room, pointed out the window, anything that she could do to try and get him to quiet down. We had brought a toy with us. It was call a Woosit- We handed that to him and he started to play with it. It took about ½ hour before he had stopped crying completely. We just sat and talked to him and held him. He was so small and had this bright pink knitted outfit on over another sleeper. It had to be about 75-80 degrees in there and we were all sweating. Just when we were getting him to come to us, the nurse came in and said it was time for a nap. Our hearts just sank. All that way and finally getting to hold our son and we could only see him for 1 hour? Denise started to cry and Nick and I comforted her. Nick told us we could come back tomorrow and on Sunday we could come 2 times. So we did just that. Each time we came, he became less frightened and by Sunday afternoon he didn't even cry when they brought him in. He would see us and get a smile on his face.

On Monday, we went to Court. We met Nick our translator at the Court House and went into this room that had rows of chairs an a long table and the head of the room. On the side, there was a large iron cage that was probably 5 feet wide, 7 feet tall and 7 feet long. We were told that is where the "bad people" are put when they are being tried.

The administrator from the orphanage spoke first, then the Doctor then the judge asked us questions. Nobody in the room spoke any English except for Nick our translator. The Judge would ask her question, Nick would translate, we would answer, and Nick would translate. The court proceeding lasted approximently 45 minutes, the judge agreed to waive the 10 day period and congratulated us on being parents. We left and had to make several stops. First, to the hall of records to get a new birth certificate. That showed our names as his parents, and also we had to go to some office to get all the other paperwork translated from Russian to American in order to get our Visa's when we got back to Moscow.

Finally, it was back to the orphanage. We finally were able to call him "Our Son" when they brought him into the room.

We were originally supposed to leave on Tuesday to go back to Moscow. That would give us a couple of days to site see before having to go to the embassy and then leave to back to America. Wouldn't you know, that Wednesday was "International Woman's Day" and all Government office were closed, so we ending up stating until Thursday. We would be leaving on the 6:20 pm flight back to Moscow, then on Friday we would pick up our Visa's at the Embassy and then leave that evening. We were flying to Amsterdam, spending the weekend there then flying back to Detroit on Monday.

The flight to Amsterdam was uneventful. Sergei was really good. He just played with the books in the seat pocket in front of us, ate his oatmeal, and drank juice.

We arrived in Amsterdam at 10:00 that evening. We were staying at the Golden Tulip in downtown Amsterdam. When we arrived at the hotel, the room that we had confirmed was not ready so we were put in another room for the night. We were all so exhausted but so excited to finally be out of Russia. Even at 10:30-11:00 at night there were people walking up and down the street and we didn't feel afraid or threatened in anyway. The Bell Hop brought us a crib for Sergei, and after crying for about 5 minutes he fell asleep and didn't wake up until about 8:30 the next morning.

The sun was shinning and it was about 60-65 degrees out. We walked through the park, went into some shops and then decided to take a water taxi ride. We bought an all day pass that lets you hop on and off when ever you want. We rode around the city and Sergei loved it. It was so calming to be in a city where people actually spoke English again. We spent three hours riding around. It was amazing to see Sergei's eyes wide-open taking in everything. That evening, the hotel had a restaurant that severed Italian food. We walked in and everyone was dressed to the hilt. Here we are in blue jeans and sweatshirts. Of course, everyone stopped what they were doing to look at us. After, dinner we went back to our hotel room. The second room they put us in didn't agree with Sergei, every time we would go in the room, he would cry. When we would open the door and walk in the hallways, he would stop crying and start laughing. All we had to do was make it through the night and we would be on our way home. It was a long night!

The Trip back to Michigan.
We got to the airport and checked our luggage. We then had to wait 2 hours to board the plane. We went through the duty-free shop, shopped, then went to have some coffee. After we passed through the security questions, we got into the boarding area. We had to wait to check in here as well. We hurried and got in line ahead of everybody else just so we wouldn't have to stand and wait with Sergei. After all the traveling, he had done in the last 3 days, Sergei was holding up rather well. He then decided it was time to work on his walking technique for 30 minutes or more. We ended up walking around a 30x40 boarding area several hundred, or so it seemed, times. Each time we would go around the room again, we would stop and talk to the different passengers. It was finally time to board the plane. For the next 8 hours, this was going to be our new home. It was a very full flight and we ended up in one of those rows that seats about 5 people. We had the last three seats in the row. As the plane pushed back out of the gate, Sergie started to get restless. He preferred to be in the boarding area, walking, but now was stuck in one of our laps for a very long time. The plane, finally took off from the ground and not a ½ hour later, Sergei was fast asleep. This lasted for about 3-4 hours. When he finally decided to wake up, it was time for some delicious airline cuisine. Since he was very limited in the Orphanage on what he ate, it seemed that anything and everything we put in front of him he would eat.

The flight in itself went smooth. Around 1 hour out from being home, Sergei wanted to get up and walk. He had had enough of this sitting in one spot. So until they came over the loud speaker that we would be getting ready to land, Sergei and Daddy walked up and down those aisles.

The moment we had been waiting for had finally arrived. After 13 days, we were finally touching down at the Detroit Metro Airport, a short 30-minute ride from our home. We had our beautiful baby son with us and we were getting ready to see our family and friends for the first time since becoming parents. We of course had to wait our turn, to go through customs, but that was a breeze compared to everything else we had just gone through. About 1 hour after getting into Detroit we were finally walking through the doors and there to greet us at the International terminal were both sets of Grandparents, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. Many of them had flowers and balloons that said "Welcome Home" on them.

Sergei was not even afraid. He went to anybody who wanted to hold him but kept his Mommy and Daddy in sight at all times.

We finally got the car, put the car seat in it and drove Sergei to his "HOME". That is something we never thought we would be able to give a child. Especially one from so far away and probably would never have know what that word meant.

It's been 1 year and 3 months after that day and everytime Sergei looks at a picture of us holding him in front of the house, all he says is "My Home". And we look at him with the biggest smiles and say, "yes, dear, your home".

-Tony and Denise